MOMMY TO NO 2!
In about 2 weeks I am scheduled to deliver my second one! It still feels surreal!
5 years back we had our first born. As any parent would
attest, the first 3 years of his life were tough. The questions never end: Is
he sleeping enough?, is he sleeping more?,
is the colour of the stools fine?, is the consistency ok? Is he getting enough
nutrition? Is he getting enough attention? Is he getting too much attention? Is
his temper tantrum pathological? Can he see ok? Can he hear ok? When by 3 all
the physical and emotional milestones are achieved one settles into a better
routine. We started seeing movies together, attempting more dinners and braving
through weekend getaways and conference trips.
When we decided to go in for a second one, I was as hesitant
as one would be while changing a cozy job. I was so much into my comfort zone
that I didn’t think I would want to do it again! But slowly and surely we made
a conscious decision that we would love to parent one more. We wanted to keep
our reasons clear. 1. This child was not because we wanted our first one to
have company. (We could have got a toy for that)There would be no burden on the
child to be a constant entertainment or companion to our first one. I feel its
cruel to ask that from another soul!
2. This child is not to compete or challenge our genetic
pool. So he/she will not have the burden to be as good as the first one, as
good as mom or dad. He/She will be an individual in his own standing and can
become as good as he wants to be. He/She will be nurtured and cared
irrespective of any perfections or imperfections!
So we are having this child only because we want to bring
another soul into our loving world!
How this pregnancy has been different?
Well I have surely felt more prepared this time around.
1.
Accepting
the importance of allotting work: I suffered a lot with my first born as I
wanted to do it all. That depletes you of your limited energy pools and you
start getting irritable with seemingly harmless things. So I accepted help from
inlaws, hubby, parents, friends and helpers.
2.
Eating
proper and at right time: Maternity does discipline one. Eating the right
kind of food at proper intervals and proper amounts makes one feel energetic
and light throughout the day. So I left the old practices of eating late lunch,
binge eating, eating late night and restricted the sudden sugar highs. It does
help that my hormones don’t make me crave for any thing particular like a lot
of women do experience. So I could manage to eat everything moderately.
3.
Importance
of self love: As blasphemous as it may sound I have learnt the hard way
what happens when one forgets to love oneself. So this time around I made sure
to make out time for myself. I meditated to connect with my soul and drive the
strength from my soul. To reinforce that I am powerful and have more energy
than I would seem to have. Also an extention of self love was to pamper with
massages, maternity clothes and weekend getaways.
4.
Take out
time for each other: After child birth what I understood suffered most is
the couple time. You always seem to be alternating in the duties and so
together time decreases. Alternate bath, alternate dinners, alternate nappy
changes and so I felt it is important to tell each other how we are planning to
manage getting ‘us’ time inspite of taking care of the extra chores.
5.
Connecting
the elder one: Now this was my goal no. 1 to begin with. I wanted the elder
child to feel connected and a part of this journey. So we made sure he felt the
first kick, he had a view of the growing belly, he saw the ultrasound images
and was a part of the maternity shoot! Also, I seeked his help while lifting
things or selecting baby clothes, or
washing his older stuff so that he equally awaited and felt responsible for the
arrival of the new one.
6.
Work-life
balance: Well my worry was that as a doctor I would lose work and time and
patient care would suffer. I tried to manage that in the best possible way. So
I made sure all the patients under my care were informed a month prior of my
impending maternity break and all the referral doctors and colleagues were also
informed well in advance about the alternative arrangements and how to reach me
in case of emergency. This helped as most of my patients could see me and
schedule an appointment for planned visits. Also I received a lot of love and
best wishes from all of them which made my profession feel much more humane
than before.
So in 2 weeks as I am about to enter a yet
another beautiful and difficult phase of life, I pray that I stay connected to
positivity and bask the little one in the warmth and care that I crave to give!
(P.S.: I know positivity attracts positivity
and wish all the readers to send their bit of positivityJ)
