2020 brought
something what we were all not ready for! We thought we were doing this, going
there, achieving this and floating one way but that paused and took us by
shock. The shock of stopping everything, all travel, all leisure, all fun and
just protect you, your family and your community by staying at home.
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| Gourmet Kitchen was on in the Beginning of the Pandemic |
Children
earlier rejoiced by having parents and grandparents all at home. So did the
Adults. We felt we could pause, cook great meals, learn new skills. But a month
or two in it, we realized we need to continue to work to get the family going,
do all the household work and continue to create ‘Fun’ for the kids. So there
was the continuous bickering with the kids when they felt that the Parents were
never around, as they were either taking care of the house, or doing Work from
Home or making the next meal.
The need for
kids to have the adults of the home around was a way to have at least some kind
of consistency as the world around them came to a stop. So, they couldn’t go to
the parks, schools, school bus, birthday parties anymore. They couldn’t see
their friends anymore and felt as ‘stuck’ as we felt.
Unfortunately,
the situation continued in 2021 too, with little hope of opening up of things
with the dreadful second wave that hit India in March through June. Things became
worse for them, as yet another Summer Holidays Plan got cancelled, Online
Schooling started yet again after the Summers and they felt isolated and angry!
This is
what I learnt so far:
1. Let them Emote: its already difficult with so many
things going on to have the emotions all pent up and deal with things on their
own, Listening really helps. But be ready for Listening Non judgmentally. It
might get dark and trigger you too, but try to neutrally listen and empathize
with their situation.
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| Ups and Downs |
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| A Rather Happy First Day of School as He will be Home! |
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| A tough year ahead for this little Bub |
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| This Breaks my heart but appreciate Human adaptability Amey showing his work to his teacher online |
2. Be Present: Stop Multitasking. You cannot talk
to them and chat on the mobile and have something on the stove and reply to
your email all together. The kids need to know that you are wholly and solely
present when they are talking to you. Have undivided attention is by itself a
calming energy for them to be in.
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| Being PRESENT |
3. Change Rules
: We had a No Movie on Weekdays Rule before the Pandemic. This has been tweaked to accommodate entertainment into the Family Fun at least 2 days of the week too.4. Tough Decisions: One of the parents may have to
take the tough decision of stepping down, cutting down work or reorganizing the
work around the kids’ needs. With no Day cares or Nannies, parenting became a full-time
job too. And Balancing everything might take a toll on you. I went ahead and opened my own Practice. That helped me find the right balance and also catapulted me to the next level professionally.
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| Free Lancer Surgeon: Enjoying what I do |
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| Owner of my own Practice during the Pandemic |
5. Meditate Together: This is something that has really
helped all of us. Having found the inner silence and peace have made the kids
also realize that they still have autonomy over that one constant and that is their
inner silence. That will always calm them and that is one Life lesson that I
hope will help us all.
6. Recharge: Nothing good can come out of a discharged
battery. Don’t fill too much on the platter as once you are drained you will
become a bitter, resenting parent and that isn’t helping the situation.
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| One of my "Me Time" Places |
7. We will see them more Online: Accept, Understand and Learn. I
learnt a lot of Roblox and Minecraft Games as I had my elder one loving those. And
when I started accepting rather than resenting, I found him not going into the gaming-
Rebel- more gaming and guilt cycle. No one enjoys guilt. So, making the child
all the time guilty for something that gives him joy will end up confused about
his emotions too. So, I found healthy ways to talk to him about addiction and
making him feel ok about finishing his other tasks before he starts gaming. Also,
most of these games are mind stimulating so come out of the conditioning that
says Gaming Is Bad!
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| Our Obsession |
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| Another Favourite: Kreekcraft |
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| Our Offline Fun |
8. Couple Time: Being the provider for the elders
and kids and workplaces most of the couples feel burnt out and it comes out as
resentful energy towards each other. Find things to connect you. Journal about
how to set boundaries on other things and make a window of time for you to
connect. This can be even between best friends or partners. Making time for the
most important relationships in your life will bring you Joy and peace.
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| Have Never Learnt to take our Alone Pic! |
So, here’s
hoping 2021 is fading away and bring a brighter 2022.
Peace and
Joy!
