Both us Leos have subtly been the power button of
the house for a long time. Both of us have many things in common.
We both are
professionally dealing with Women and children (She a pediatrician and me a
pediatric ophthalmologist), Both love Kerala Food, Both love the kajal(you will
never find us without it), we both have loud laughters, we both love our sleep
(we even sleep similarly with one hand under the head and one hand above the
ear) and we both love wearing Sarees to work.
1st to 7th August heralds Breastfeeding week.
 |
| Pregnant Me with my mom. The Reason I could Breastfeed is her. |
So I wanted to celebrate that
along with my mom too. We have both fed our babies.
Moms' breastfeeding was way
more strenuous, unsupported than mine. She was doing Post Graduation in
Pediatrics and had a very hard residency when I was around. So though they
always had to advocate for Breast feeding she found very little support for her
own Breastfeeding amongst the Night duties and Emergency Duties she had to do.
Also add to that the bad food and horrible hostel living conditions. During her
second child, there was a crisis at home with my Paternal Grandmother is her
last days of life dying of Breast cancer, My Paternal Aunts first baby born a
month earlier(she was in her maternal home so was with them then), she had a new
private practice(opened in her pregnancy) and not enough money at home due to
the financial burden of cancer and young professional careers. So she fed both
as much as she could and shifted us both on Formula feeds.
My Younger Brother
ironically won "Healthy Baby Competition" in first year of life and so I thank
Science that keeps babies alive and thriving on Formula Feeds.
My pregnancies came more planned. After my residencies, at a time when I could
afford to eat well and stay in a good place. Also having supportive partner and
tribe for the same was a blessing too.
As a mom, I have learnt a few things about Breastfeeding.
When I first became a
mom with Ansh everything was so Overwhelming. The thought of giving milk from
your own bosom was so strange to begin with. Though already a doctor and having
read about things clinically, sharing a liquid coming out from your body with your
child, who seems to innately know how to suck it is in itself a wonder. Always
taught to be shy about breast and hide it with saree, dupatta or large dresses,
you start unbuttoning and feeding your child in the most public of places, the
public loos, the restaurants, cars, parking lots, hospitals, workplaces and even
in the watch of your own staff and parents.
Suddenly the shame collected over 30
years regarding your most private part has to be exposed quickly and offered to
the tiny baby, howling and crying in your arms. The pain, the break in skin of
the nipple, the blood coming from the nipple cracks, the painful utering
contractions and resultant bleeding in the first few days of feeding the new
born baby and the severely painful, hard and lumpy breasts become a blessing and a
bane all at once.
Suddenly your whole attention is on expressing, massaging,
pumping and feeding a baby for almost 6 months for some or close to 3 years for
others. The girl Me has to be somehow converted into MOM me and wear clothes
that accesses the bra in a jiffy. all of those months that I fed my little ones
I fed my attention always on my better 2 that served as the sole source of
nutrition to my kiddos.
Somehow I was advised to eat and drink things not
according to my tongues taste but according to my kids tummy. Things that give
gas, things considered pungent, things that are bitter or things that are high
in sugar were to be avoided. Whether things were hard on my tummy or not was
forgotten. Suddenly I felt so neglected by all. The inlaws, parents, friends and
aquaintances were only worried about how is the baby or whether there is weight
gain or whether the baby is passing motions, whether you have eaten or passed
motions(iron induced constipation...yuk!) or whether you slept (atleast an hour
straight) or whether you are blue. Its noone's fault, all mean well but most are
not in that phase with you and so cant help it.
Plus no kidding a new born baby
wrapped in a perfect bundle looks way more cuter than a bloated, pregnant,
unkept, smelling lady with clothes that smell of blood, milk, sweat and fatigue
at all times.
Also I ended up with Breast Abscess 3 months after my first one
and had to be operated on suddenly due to a high risk of sepsis. Being sick
yourself and Breastfeeding is the biggest challenge a mother faces.
Breastfeeding feels like a marathon, draining you of energy completely. Add to
that fever, pain in the incision site and leaking pus from the wound and you
have a cocktail to feel like disaster.
During Second time around, I had many
evenings which were "Witch Hours". For hours together my baby would not get off
the breast. He would keep sucking and if detached from the breast would howl and
bleat and be again attached to the breast. We had so many evenings where he was
just attached to the breast and i would sit in the car with him to make him
sleep.
So over the years of not having to be in that situation, I developed a
kind of
List for mothers who are breast feeding or are going to be breast feeding
are:
1. Invest in a good feeding bra, Nipple care cream, feeding pillow and
feeding pads. These are all now your new accessories
2. Take help. Be vocal about it.
Build your team in those 9 months. The second time around I had a nanny who
would help me with nursing and all the other baby care work.
3. Get massages.
With both the kids I had someone come to give me and the baby massages for
almost 3 months. It relaxes the mind and body and makes you sleep better.
4.
Learn to let go of your screens. This will help you have quick feed and sleep as
you wont be awake with the phones in your hand.
5. Eat well. By well I mean good
food, soups, fresh vegetables and fruits. You need the fibers for your bowels
and need the healthy diet for your well being. hydrate a lot. I had developed a
routine of drinking before starting feeding and drinking water again when ending
feeding. Preferably have a flask of water near your bed at all times.
6. Try to
tell your Gynaecologist team and the nurses around about how you want to feed as
soon as the baby is out. I wish I had a pic with my abdomen open and the nurse
holding my second one at an odd angle to feed right on the OT table. You are
under Anesthesia so not in pain, It is a joyous moment so the endorphins are
high and the baby almost always innately knows how to suck. You avoid Neonatal
Hypoglycemia, you develop a bond right away and you have the precious Colostrum
flowing.
7. Take pain control. It definitely helps to be pain free specially
when you are in the first week of child birth. The breast feed will get
established better when you are not troubled about pain.
8. Try to get in a walk
or exercise. That will help with body aches, digestion and also your mood.
9.
Advocate for you and your baby. Try to have healthy boundaries with people.
Avoid Intrusive question, stop unnecessary calls and dont attend to unwanted
visitors. This will add to make you feel Zen like and good vibrations means
happy baby. Listen to meditation music or any upbeat music to feel better and
avoid depressing thoughts. Journal or talk to your partner or loved one about
how you feel.
10. If you do not get breast milk, or cant cope with feeding,
discuss the other options with your Doctor and if you dont have someone
listening to you Dont shy from changing the provider.
You Need to Do What's best
for you finally.
Breast milk is Nectar but More
precious is the "You" that you give to your baby.
Don't let anyone steal away
your spark!
To help women who are breastfeeding, I always prioritized having a
breastfeeding room in my Hospital.
Also I routinely help women in the public if
they need me to carry some luggage or hold the baby till they find a spot to
feed.
Also, I teach my kids to not stare at Breasts when people are feeding in
the public, as these are now Food junctions and not Sexual Organs.
Also listen
to these new mommies. Let them Rant, Rave or Howl. Just be on the listening end.
For this Whatsapp is superb as they can listen or read the messages when they
have time.
Dont call, dont drop in suddenly at their place.
Best would be to
leave a parcel or gift at the door and let them be.
Offer to baby sit while she
goes to a saloon or massage or for her just to sleep.
This year's theme for the
World Breastfeeding Week is
'Step Up For Breastfeeding: Educate and Support'. Lets all do our bit.
