For each woman the first Man they know is their Father. A figure who seems "Always Right" "always together". We grow up looking at this in the society and emulating it ourselves. All throughout childhood, I had this insatiable need to be "The Correct One" So be it studies, Dance, Abhinaya, Guests, Hospitality or taking care of Elders or Youngers, I wanted to be only right. This led me to again the unachievable pain of being correct. I felt disappointed by myself many times and felt sad without reason. I was first bit by the sharp pain of achieving Masculinity.
Society has defined Masculinity as loud, ambitious, anger, willpower, rationale thinking, independence and it came from their role as hunters and gatherers.
Femininity was defined as Intuition, nurturing, emotional, Grace, vulnerability and this came from their role of being the Nurturer.
But a lot of these roles are so black and white that none of us in todays times fall these categories. We find ourselves greying out and so not belonging.
2 decades back this knowledge was unavailable and so unknown to many of us. I had a classmate. He was very charming but had a feminine voice and gentle mannerisms. He was always bullied by then hormonally raging men of our class of being an "undefined" and the girls of the class also stayed away because they did not want to associate themselves with anything that was not cool. I felt the sadness of the Definition that day.
Then I met Men. Some who were in love with themselves. Loud, brash and unapologetic. Then some who were Gentle, Caring and wanted to take care of all in the brood.
And I fell in love with the Feminine Men.
The Masculinity in men was usually Toxic. Obsessive, Narcissistic, Unapologetic, Emotionally blunted, Manipulative and Dominating.
The Femininity in men is attractive. They take you and yours in their hood. They listen when you have had a bad day. They let you be, for your to explore yourself. They complain and cry about the world and get up from down there just like you.
The Side of Men which understands and tries to is much more needed than the one which asserts, schemes, manipulates and conquers. You feel more like a loved one with the former and more like a hunted one with the later.
The Masculinity in Men is attractive to many. They look powerful & Protective but its a mirage. the Reality of that Masculinity is more toxic. The Protective turns to Possessiveness and then on is a Power Struggle.
So here's to growing Feminine Men. Lets Raise them, Praise them and Date them because the world Needs more of them!
