Mara Vhala Dada- My Darling Grandfather

 Today is my Grandfather's 85th birthday. If not for the pandemic I had plans to visit him. But I am celebrating him today where I am.

My childhood was spent more with my Grandfather than my father and so he played a pivotal role for who I am today. 

My mornings would get up with hi. Chanting " Shri Krishna Sharanam mamah" and he would play bhajans on his cassette player while getting ready for his Seva. As I slept with him, the moment he woke his Thakorji(little krishna) by 3 claps was time for me to get up too. Every night he would tell me stories of Krishna or freedom fighters. He is a Krishna bhakt and Desh Bhakt in equal proportions. So our days were filled with stories of freedom fight, Riots and Krishna Leela. 

As a kid I many times detested that my parents slept with my brother and I with dada in our small 2 bedroom apartment. I felt neglected by my parents and would sneak to parents room when dada would fall asleep😴 . I now realize how wonderful it was to get to sleep with him.

As any middle class family, education was very valued in our house too. And so my first study table was set up in his room. With his room having a jhoola in the balcony, many evenings were spent studying aloud on the swing. 

Dada had a pretty rough childhood. His dad died of acute Cardiac arrest and Mom too died of Burns at very young age. Brought up by his paternal uncle he faced issues like any foster care child would. Inspite of hardly any education support he finished college and took up a job with Life Insurance of India, where he served till his retirement.

He shares stories of his dates before marriage with Ba(Grandmother) st Law Garden. How they would talk endlessly about future plans!

Ba and Dada in Kashmir

With Ba and he both working, they were best blended couple. Dada cut veggies, bathed the kids and made them study and Ba cooked and washed. They worked hand in hand without any external family support to raise well mannered and educated kids. 

My dad Ofcourse took up medicine and fulfilled Dadas dream of having a doctor in the family. Both Ba and Dada, complete Vaishnavs walked hand in hand on spiritual path also. Dad and Mom got married and life seemed settled for him when the next shock came.

Moms Godh Bharai with Lil Aloka Inside

My Ba was detected to have Breast cancer. With my dad still studying, through the meagre sources of income they managed surgery and Chemotherapy. Spirituality held them close and Ba got better. Both of them did their first Vraj Yatra( For Krishna bhakts Vaishnavs, visiting all the Leela sites is Bliss) Once they came back from the Yatra, Ba deteriorated and had an excruciating end of life. With no Morphine and multiple episodes of Ascites, Dada remembers him tapping the fluid and massaging as she howled through pain. I still remember as a 4 year old, Dadas face the day Ba died. He was a broken man.

I dont know how in an era where there is no grief counselling, financial debts and necessary to go  back to work with 2 young kids in the house, how he managed to cope. But what I did see is that he turned in to Prabhu spiritually. 

Amara Vhala  Thakorji

He started routinely visiting the temple, where they would do an hour of Satsang before the main Arti and I presume that worked as therapy. Making friends, laughing at joke and healing through prayers, music and meditation, over the years he became the chief person to do the Satsang if Maharajsri was not there. 

Satsang

He took part in organising events for the temple and worked for the welfare of the community. Healing the grieving, helping some poor kids education and supporting livelihood of some small businessman, he lived through a life of Seva. In turned God blessed him with happiness and peace. 

I have always seen him joking and laughing, as his name Vinodchandra rightly defines, he is a man of laughter. Sometimes he jokes in abandon which might have hurt a few but he usually means no harm!

His usual expression

I remember him rushing from the temple and changing clothes in the drawing room itself to not miss a moment of the then popular serial "Hum Paanch" and "Jaspal Bhatti" He laughed loudly at those jokes and still to date loves the Jokes or Haasya Columns in Newspapers or later in life the WhatsApp Joke forwards!

I was a very anxious person during exams. He always gave Mishri or Sugar while going for important exams or today while leaving home for the airport. I remember once in Medical School, I was very tense and he gave me the Yamunashtak to calm me. To date whenever I tense up, I turn to this.

He was very supportive when me and Santosh were dating and wanted to get married. Also at this age and with a very conservative background he is still very supportive of by brother and his girlfriend. His only motive is that all his grandkids should be happy where and with whom they are. He flew far when I announced my pregnancy the first time around. He just wanted to be with me and bless the pregnancy. Also the one to walk my husband to the marriage mandap was my Dada. My husband's folks also have huge regard for him and his wiseness. 

With us in Madurai

Walking the Groom in the Mandap

Wedding celebrations

Blessing us always

My tearful Bidaai

One person that he loves the most is his daughter, Sangita. Till today when talking to me he calls me Sangita first and then Aloka. He loves thinking of her and talking to her, and goes back in time whenever he remembers her. And the fun part is when together they fight like Tom and Jerry. 

Tom and Jerry

His other Grandson's wedding

I love to see him with my kids today and he is the same loud laugh guy, playing cricket and making music with his hand and mouth. He sings to them and puts me and them to sleep with his amazing massaging techniques. They both are amazed in delight at this grand-grand father.

Anshs Birth

Amey's Birth

His place of peace- Jhoola or Hinchko

Our Lovely Big Family

Today and everyday, I wish him Sat Chit Anand. As Bhagwat Gita says, Sthool Sharir may be 85 but his Atma has been with me for cycles and cycles of Jeevam. 

Happy Birthday Dada,

Tamari Ladli

Aloka