Locking Down Your Soul!

A cry by the Mother to Heal your Well,
A Well that never fills with treasure or Care;

The more we live, the more we want,
A house, a second, a beach one and on a hilly top;

The latest Bentley, the latest i-phone,
Look around son there are more like your dying of hunger;

The cry of the bleating sheep, the barks of the dogs,
The birds and their nests, without trees where would they flock;

The rivers and rivulets all filled with chemicals and grime,
Oh Darling! You have silenced it all as you drive your Motor cars around the tarmacs, flying without a sight;

Lockdown, quarantine, Protective devices, Sanitisers,
These words are new, as my 2 yr old learns;

 Oh Man! Own up to your blunders, as your mother Churns,
You will come, you will go, but the technology that you create will destroy your future;

You respect No one, human, beast or bird,
You throttle a man on the roads, just because he is of another colour;

You explain to the world that he is a migrant worker,
Hardly looking around your house which was made by his sweat not so longer;

We prey on the weak, and keep our blinkers on,
Now with these masks on, our real masks can go under;

Oh Child, learn to respect the seas and the skies,
Learn to live with minimal as you melt in your highs;

The birds chirps and the cows love,
will come only if you allow all to thrive in their coves;

I nurture and nourish but churn to destroy,
Dance I will to shake the shambles, Down and under;

You will hear the forests burn and the Clouds burst,
The cities flood and the cyclones tumble;

The avalanche of snow all over the place,
You are my child, but will not let you destroy the peace that prevails!

The Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Rules the World

Today is May 10^th 2020. World Celebrates Today as Mother’s Day. I remember years back when there were Card Shops they would have the most lovely Hallmark and Archies Cards for this occasion.

Also I remember having to write Essays in English and Gujarati language when in school. One of the commonest used to be on Mother. There was a line we often wrote in this, “The Hand that rocks the cradle rules the world” As a young girl, I didn’t have many examples of Women Leaders and I didn’t understand How does a Woman Rule the World? And I didn’t understand the concept of what Ruling the World Meant. When Schools taught about Akbar, Alexander or British Raj, ruling the world always meant being Barbaric, conquering, killing and cheating and therefore I couldn’t visualise a mother becoming a Ruler. Well, slowly but surely I started noticing the art and intelligence behind every Lady of the House becoming the Leader.

A mother- daughter relationship is a complex one. From as young as I remember, my mom was always the stoic, balanced, strong lady of the house. Her voice was heard less but  was the strongest. Mom has an amazing Geographic sense. From when I remember, when we used to go for long drive to Gandhinagar (The only Multiplex theatre that time was 50-60 kms away), my Dad who seemed always lost on the road, asked for directions from Mom. She used to drive less, but surprisingly knew all the roads.

Also, she had her ways of providing. I remember I was in class 11, and there was a class party. In my life then, it was a BIG event. She took me shopping and got me a short dress much to my dad’s horror! Also my grumpy dad was sturdily handled by mom, who made sure I went to the party wearing that LBD. (Of course the fact that my dad was waiting outside the party all throughout to pick me up could not be controlled)

I never saw any discomfort to be in a cross culture relation at home. She was a Malayali, and the reason I write ‘was’, is that I never was made aware of that fact except the Sunday Morning phone calls from Kerala or the summer vacation at Muthachan’s (Nana’s) place. She blended, read Gujarati newspapers, wrote recipes in Gujarati, had only Gujarati friends and made all the Gujarati delicacies of Chundo, Khamni, Dhokla, Handvo or Undhiyu. Though having her own adjustment issues at home, I have seen her being quite reserved about that and never letting it out of her breath. 

She was the one who made me take up Classical Dance and Classical Music at a young age. That was the only South Indian influence I had in life. Buying the sarees for me, knitting the pleats, doing my makeup before shows, buying the latest accessories for the Bharatanatyam performances and always being back stage to support, she inculcated my love for the art.

Being miles away and in days where there was no Mobile phones or internet, she made sure she kept up with her family. Wrote letters, made us write letters, visited Chechis (Sisters), had wonderful relationships with her Brothers and their wives and kids, she remembered each birthday, anniversary and celebration there was in the Pisharody family. Now of course she makes it a point to meet up everyone in happy and sad occasions. Also my dad’s relations were better maintained by her, where she would call up, host and make the best Gujarati delicacies for all!

Also an extremely dedicated wife is what would describe her best. She had her ways of supporting my father’s fantastic professional career. Always taking care of the home front, being satisfied with her small and meaningful practice and making sure his mood swings are tolerated and catered to during his stressful days. During those days when we were young, I never saw her have her own set of girlfriends or going out for a cup of coffee alone, it was always around her Man. His friends, His outings were made her own. Now since few years, thanks to Facebook and Social media, she has reconnected and rejoiced in meeting up and travelling with friends and family. 

She always had a small yet meaningful practice. I remember years back when she got a new Edition of Nelson (a textbook of Paediatrics) and finished the entire thick book in a week’s time. She was the organiser in her conferences for many years. Her patients (as babies) now bring their kids to her and reminisce Doctor Aunty's help during their childhood. She had no qualms of referring to her juniors for admissions (She stopped inpatient admission when we were kids to be at home and reduce stress in the house) and was always a supporter of good practitioner. Along with my dad, I haven’t seen her ever take any financial or other favours from any Pharmaceutical company which talks high of her professional ethics.

My mom’s biggest role is that of a planner in our house. If you call her at Midnight and say “ I want to come home”, She will have a mental list ready and start “Jet Airways First flight is at 7, Spice Jet is at 8, You can also come via Mumbai or Bangalore!” Or if you call and say “I wish to see Cappadocia”, She will send you a list of travel sites, travel agents, her own pictures and flight details to reach that place. Every Year from last 30plus years my parents (along with us when we were home) have travelled. From Manali, Ooty, Singapore, Dubai, Greece, Italy, Japan, China, Egypt, Mexico, England, Switzerland, Poland, Israel, Jordan, all the travels have been almost entirely manifested by my mom’s efforts. In days when there was no internet, I remember the Monthly Subscription of Travel Magazine, where she would read, underline and take notes to plan travels. My dad, an avid traveller himself is a perfect partner, where they read books, take maps and travel without the help of any tour agent in all cities of the world!

I remember the times when I was young, when almost every month I used to suffer from Asthma attack. After all those Asthalin pumps and Honey and Sitopaladi (Ayurvedic medicine which helped me on those bad struggling nights) and warm water, only thing that would give me sleep would be sleeping on my Mom’s chest, listening to her heart beat. I remember when I used to be off from school due to illness, she would make a pitcher of Lime Juice and Hot Soup and keep it on the dining table to be had when she would be working at the Hospital.

She taught me independence. In those days we would have to go to Railway station or booking centres to book train tickets. We would have to stand in the Queue from early morning, to get confirmed tickets for 3 months down train travel. I remember so many occasions of waiting with her, filling the form and spending early morning in those queues. Also there was one Adani Supermarket, the only supermarket in Ahmedabad those days (who knew Adani will become such a big name as is now), she would buy everything written on the list and carry all that heavy weight home. A big fan of bananas, I remember so many occasions when she would send me on cycle to the Fruit shop nearby to get bananas for her.

17 years back when I professed to her that I was in love, she came down to Pune by train to meet him. Having spent the day with us, I remember she left a message saying, “Santosh is a great guy, He will keep you happy”. As a young adult uncertain of everything, her words meant so much to me. Of course, our dad being the over sensitive guy in the house, she made sure this Big News of mine stayed away from him many more years. She supported me in all my decisions. Being there during my first year MBBS exams when I had a nervous breakdown, being in the hospital with me in Pune when I had very bad gastroenteritis, staying with us in our first home in Madurai and appreciating the Tree of curry leaves in the veranda of that small house, spoiling me with care before and after the first one was born,  being there to baby sit the babies whenever I have asked, coming to Hyderabad suddenly overnight just to make sure I was ok when I was in my blues, helping us shift to our new home or being there at the hospital with me in the perinatal period after my second one.

I can say I have seen her rawest emotion of extreme love when she became a Grandmother. How her eyes light up when she talks to the boys always amazes me. She showers them with cuddles, kisses and love, makes what they want and spoils them silly with gifts. There was a time when I was jealous of the boys for getting so much love, where I would be criticised for various things. 

After years of ups and down in this relationship, where I have found her being my biggest critic yet my greatest supporter, I feel extremely in awe of Mom who truly rules our world. I love you Mom, and you have been the best Role Model I have seen through my growing up years. All I wish is you be happy and peaceful from inside out.

 So today I made my Mom’s favourite dish, Curd Rice, Just like her this simple dish is like her, Cool, Blended, White and Pure yet tasty and bursting with flavours!

As tomorrow You and Papa celebrate your 38^th Wedding Anniversary, Thanks for blending, binding and integrating all the Families that we all combined are a part of now!